Following on from my last post about Forgiveness and Emotional Intelligence, I had some rather interesting responses which prompted me to write this one. We are close to the end of the year which is a time for reflection for most of us, and in looking back, there may be some aspects of your life that you wish to work on so that you can move forward to 2008 with your sights set clearly on your goals and what you really want to achieve.

Here’s a short summary of that post:

• The only person that suffers from NOT forgiving the wrong-doer or forgiving yourself, is YOU.
• The practice of forgiveness is a simple process which can be done on a daily basis (as long as you are willing to let go of the thing that holds you back.)
• Forgiveness is an integral part of your Personal Development as without it, you cannot learn and move on with mastering your Emotional Intelligence.

Forgive and Forget

An interesting thought that came up in the responses from my friend George, is that as a child, he always heard the saying as it goes…

Forgive, but don’t Forget. It has it’s sense. Sometimes forgive AND forget is also a good idea as you clear out lot’s of stuff.

However, I feel that sometimes NOT forgetting in certain cases is a wise decision just so you don’t get caught a second or even a tenth time by the same story. Sort of like headlights that help you avoid big rocks in the road.

This is interesting because more often than not, we make up our own story about how someone treated us. Something I learned at the Landmark Forum is that we tend to, as humans do, drag the past around with us. Just imagine carrying around a suitcase everywhere we went.

I take George’s comment this way. By practicing forgiveness, it will certainly make you a stronger person. By not forgetting and using it as a warning to not get caught up again in that kind of a circumstance, it is useful. It reminds us NOT TO GO THERE AGAIN.

So to forgive and forget can give us freedom to go on and live a happy and fulfilling life. Create your day with your intentions clearly embedded in your mind before you even get out of bed. Practice forgiveness a little each day… the process gets easier the more you do and remember that attitude of gratitude leads to a life of abundance.

Dedicated to Success.

I was sent this little story in an email and it shows us how powerful our thougths can be.  Through dominating thoughts in our conscious mind we voluntarily influence our sub-conscious, it doesn’t matter if these thoughts are negative or positive the sub-conscious will accept either.  I felt it needed to be shared so here it is… 

Frozen By Fear

The Little Engine That Could was a story that inspired many of us as children. The story tells of a small train that was faced with a steep climb up a very large hill. Half way up the hill the little engine started to feel as though it was an impossible task. Fear set in.

“Will I make it?” the train wondered. “What if I don’t? What if I run out of steam before I make it? What if I’m not equipped with a strong enough engine to handle this?”

The fear grew inside as his speed slowed with the climb. Soon he crawled to a stop. “I can’t make it,” he thought.

He was gripped with fear, paralyzed by it. Then things got even worse. He was now slipping backwards. His fear was now his reality. The top of the hill was out of his reach and he would never make it. As he slid backwards he yelled out, “I don’t want to fail!”

Then something inside him changed. In truth he really did want to be on the top of the hill, not forever stuck at the bottom to live in its shadow. Fear was replaced with determination, drive, and a desire to make it to the top. With all he had in him he focused on summoning the power he needed to stop the backward slide.

And he did it! He was now holding his ground on the hill. His excitement deepened his determination. Up the hill he began moving, ever so slowly, pulling the weight of the entire train behind him. He looked up toward the top of the hill and held clear in his mind the vision of making it. He became even more determined and that made him feel stronger. His confidence grew and he picked up more speed. The train didn’t feel so hard to pull now. He felt great strength within himself that he hadn’t known before; strength he had never needed before now. As he neared the top of the hill he felt unstoppable. He knew he was going to make it!

He did it! The little ol’train made it to the top of the hill and congratulated himself. It felt great to be at the top. Filled with joy, confidence and a passion for life he looked down the tracks eager to continue his journey. He saw another hill – bigger than the last! A big smile came over his face; for he truly understood there is no end to the hills! This filled him with a deep sense of peace and humility. He then further realized that the journey and the destination are one and the same.

He wondered how was it that at the half-way point he felt so overcome with the task and yet it was in him to make it. He was strong enough. Could it have been that as his fears grew, his thoughts were consumed with the vision of not making it? Failure almost became his reality. It was when he changed his focus – alerted his perspective – that he felt powerful. In fact, it seemed the more he believed in himself the stronger he felt, and the easier the climb became. His new focus became his new reality!

He admired just how powerful his thoughts are and he never took them for granted again. He became aware of his thoughts and he used them to go places he always wanted to go!

Remember: You are the conductor of your own train on the tracks of life and you are strong enough to go places you want to go. Don’t let a little hill stop you – choose the reality you wish to create, not the one you’re afraid might occur. Soon enough you’ll be able to say just like the little engine, “I know I can!”

Heather Walter

Heather Walter is an Inner Balance Coach, Motivational Speaker and Writer located in Whitby, Ontario. You can email her your comments on this story to: heatherwalter@rogers.com

Of course you could also leave me with your thoughts as well and I look forward to them.

To Your Success!

Ange

Why is it that we feel we should always have to please other people before pleasing ourselves?  This has been bugging me for quite some time now.  Remember when you were a child and were always being told to “be careful,” or “don’t do that,” or “don’t say that.”  Do you cringe now when you hear those words?  I do.  I have two small children and I must admit that it slips out now and again, but when it does, I recognise it straight away.

Think about this for a moment.  It’s like when you were a child out on a bushwalk with your family, and you come to a crossing over some water with rocks as stepping stones.  You are told to “be careful or you might fall in.”  So what happens… you fall in.  If you are told, on the other hand, that you will get an ice-cream when you get to the other side, then there are no slip ups.  Everyone gets across without incident.

Learn to think and live outside the box.  When you hear those words, say to yourself “Who am I being careful for?”  Being careful leaves you in a world of regrets and living in fear of not upsetting anyone or anything.  Be who you are and live your dreams.  You might be pleasantly surprised by the person you’ve been hiding.

Yours in Freedom

Ange