Following on from my last post about Forgiveness and Emotional Intelligence, I had some rather interesting responses which prompted me to write this one. We are close to the end of the year which is a time for reflection for most of us, and in looking back, there may be some aspects of your life that you wish to work on so that you can move forward to 2008 with your sights set clearly on your goals and what you really want to achieve.

Here’s a short summary of that post:

• The only person that suffers from NOT forgiving the wrong-doer or forgiving yourself, is YOU.
• The practice of forgiveness is a simple process which can be done on a daily basis (as long as you are willing to let go of the thing that holds you back.)
• Forgiveness is an integral part of your Personal Development as without it, you cannot learn and move on with mastering your Emotional Intelligence.

Forgive and Forget

An interesting thought that came up in the responses from my friend George, is that as a child, he always heard the saying as it goes…

Forgive, but don’t Forget. It has it’s sense. Sometimes forgive AND forget is also a good idea as you clear out lot’s of stuff.

However, I feel that sometimes NOT forgetting in certain cases is a wise decision just so you don’t get caught a second or even a tenth time by the same story. Sort of like headlights that help you avoid big rocks in the road.

This is interesting because more often than not, we make up our own story about how someone treated us. Something I learned at the Landmark Forum is that we tend to, as humans do, drag the past around with us. Just imagine carrying around a suitcase everywhere we went.

We project the past into the future and live into it rather than letting it go and living in the NOW. Imagine if you didn’t have to carry around that suitcase everywhere you went.Imagine being free from the past, the one that is gone, the thing that holds you back from moving forward and living in the NOW. I challenge you to throw it away. Get rid of it so that it doesn’t weigh heavily on you. What are you left with when you do that. A blank canvas to write whatever future you wish to have… that’s what it leaves you with. Forgiveness is not easy and with a little practice everyday, it will make a difference in your life.

I take George’s comment this way. By practicing forgiveness, it will certainly make you a stronger person. By not forgetting and using it as a warning to not get caught up again in that kind of a circumstance, it is useful. It reminds us NOT TO GO THERE AGAIN.

So to forgive and forget can give us freedom to go on and live a happy and fulfilling life. Create your day with your intentions clearly embedded in your mind before you even get out of bed. Practice forgiveness a little each day… the process gets easier the more you do and remember that attitude of gratitude leads to a life of abundance.

Dedicated to Success.

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If I was to tell you that you will never experience peace of mind until you were able to forgive, what would you say to that. I would not be telling you the truth if I said that I found forgiveness to be an easy thing to practice all the time. What I can tell you though, is that next to an attitude of gratitude, forgiveness is the most important step you can take toward peace of mind and emotional intelligence.

Throughout your life, you certainly would have had opportunities that have made you simmer with justified anger, feelings of resentment, playing the victim and even times of betrayal. These are all strong emotions that can consume us totally if we let them.

There have been times in my life when somebody has hurt me and in my constant replaying of the drama, I have been the victim, and they have been the villain. If you think of yourself as a nice person, you simply long for others to back down and see things your way. If you don’t think of yourself as a nice person, you may just want to kill them! But please don’t.

It has taken me quite some time, and I still have some forgiving to do, especially forgiving myself - yes, you got it - forgiving oneself is the most difficult to do, but I can tell you that releasing anger and hurt and those feelings of being a victim have certainly made my life a lot less complicated. The only person who suffers is you if you will not let those feelings go. Nobody else feels your pain, and the more you hold onto the emotions that make you feel that pain, the more damage you do to yourself.

Of course you will find it hard, sometimes even impossible to do this at first. How long you let it go on of course is up to you. Being such strong emotions, you may want to hold onto them. That’s not unusual. Some people even fall into the trap of playing victim all their lives! Do you really want to live like that. Do you really want to wallow in self pity because someone did something wrong to you. Someone took advantage of you. Someone stole a precious item of yours. Someone bullied you at school or at work. Someone got that promotion at work that was meant to be your promotion. Your parents loved your baby sister more than you. These are all valid reasons, and still, you CAN let them go.

If you decide to free yourself of these feelings, simply saying words of forgiveness will have no immediate emotional impact, but if you initiate the practice of forgiveness, it has the power to wipe away that pain.

I learned a simple process from a friend of mine just recently, that has helped me to overcome many of the feelings which I have been telling you about. Think of it as an inner ritual of forgiveness.

Sit quietly alone and imagine a stage. Keep your eyes closed while you are in this process. Then, imagine putting the person you need to forgive on that stage. Say the words, I forgive X for all the wrong X has done against me, real or imaginary, in this life or any other. Imagine the person disappearing into the light. Then place yourself on that stage and say, I forgive myself for all sins against X , whether real or imaginary, in this life or any other. Repeat this process with each individual who in your eyes, has wronged you. I find doing this process is having a great effect on my emotional intelligence.

Some of you may even like to use the Lord’s Prayer. It doesn’t matter what our spiritual tradition is, forgiveness is expected of all of us. It is all part of our personal development. Developing your emotional intelligence can only be a benefit to your happiness and living a fulfilling life.

We can practice forgiveness on a daily basis because we’re often wronged, even in small ways. For instance, we may get cut off in traffic, or someone says something hurtful over the phone, or someone may be rude to us in a shopping mall. It could be any number of things that set us off. Instead of being enraged by these occurrences, imagine the person being surrounded with light, and mentally say, I forgive you and I will release you. Even imagine blowing them a kiss perhaps - lightening the moment with some humour is a very good idea. Then move on.

Without forgiveness, I can tell you from experience what happens. It is not the un-forgiven who suffers, rather, it is the person who cannot forgive who will carry the hurt. That person is the one whose mind and body are in danger of being permanently damaged by pain and bitterness, and resentment. You guessed it. It is YOU who will suffer.

Life is way too short to suffer due to not letting go of the past in this way. The practice of forgiveness - even when the wrongdoer continues to do wrong - is the only way to freedom and peace.

Dedicated to Success.

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This last week has been rather busy keeping up with birthday parties and other family celebrations. In other words, I have been distracted in bringing chaos into order and I have not brought you anything new. Some of you may think that having an order for everything is the only way to live. Tell me if that is so. I would be interested to hear how you do it.

I have never been one for taking too much notice of authority, and not having had a structure in place for most things, (except for when I used to have a 9 - 5 JOB), I now find myself thinking that chaos could be a sign of intelligence searching for the right path.

My friends in the blogosphere have been a wealth of knowledge in regards to how to keep my blog on track and building a community and this is very important in standing out in the crowd. So much so, that I was tagged with another meme, and I regret to say that I cannot participate in this one. Not that there is anything that I don’t like about it, it’s just that I need to get back to the roots of why I am here, which is to give you something to think about and apply to your life, as long as it fits with you and where you are at.

Your Wish Is My Command

I look at this picture often and imagine myself there, just looking out at the sky filled with stars - shooting stars, big, bright stars - naming them. Remember back to the last time you saw a falling star. Did you make a wish. Did you share it with anyone or keep it to yourself.

I remember a couple of months back, I stepped outside into the back-yard one night to take out some recycling, and as I did, the sky above was very clear and I watched what looked like the biggest star in the sky falling down towards the earth. Just like the one in the picture here.

Everyone was asleep here, so I jumped online to find the first person I could to share it with. It was just amazing to watch and I made a wish. If you have seen The Secret, and I know many of you have, then you would remember that James Ray talks about Aladdin and his lamp. When the lamp is dusted off and the genie pops out, he only says one thing: Your wish is my command.

The story actually states that there are three wishes, but if you trace the story back to its origins, there is absolutely no limit. I often watch The Secret as part of my personal development. There are some things that stick and some that don’t, depending on when I watch it. I seem to always find some new comment that I have missed in previous viewings.

So I want you to think about the things that you DO want. When I say DO want, I mean that you DO want them. Whatever you think about, comes about, even if it is not what you want. If it is on your mind, the Universe cannot tell the difference. For example, if you say that you don’t want to catch a cold, guess what, you catch a cold. It has been on your mind. I have proven this to myself even. Yes, I do get it wrong too at times. During the winter here, everyone around me was catching the flu, and I kept saying, I never get sick… I won’t catch the flu… and guess what… I caught the flu. The Law of Attraction was definitely at work then!

Okay, so think about what you DO want and imagine yourself already with that thing. Whether it be a holiday you want to take but have not set any plans in place as yet, or it may be a new outfit, tickets to a concert, a new laptop… what ever it is. The trick is to feel what it would feel like already having it. What would you say. Where would you be. What feelings will you feel. What is the date. These are all things that should be considered, and then write it all down on paper. As you are writing, feel those feelings, see yourself there, speak the words you would speak when you have it. This all helps in getting what you DO want. Hold the image of what you want in your mind. Express gratitude for having received it.

If it is a new house you want, be specific with how many rooms you want, whether it has a basement for storage. Do you want 3 bathrooms, 5 bedrooms, surround sound system wired through every room. Is it a multi-level home on land with a lake for swimming or a swimming pool in the back-yard. Then search for houses like this that are up for sale and when you find one with your specifications, go and inspect it, walk through the house and feel like it is yours. Where would your bed go. How will the living room be furnished. Have these images in your head and put out the feelings you will feel knowing you have it.

My wish for you is that you put these principles into action. Start big or start small. Write down a list of what you want and get busy feeling the abundance that the Universe has for you. It is a natural law and you deserve everything that you want out of life. You have the power. Use it as you see fit.

Dedicated to Success.

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