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Emotional Intelligence And Personal Development

Following on from my last post about Forgiveness and Emotional Intelligence, I had some rather interesting responses which prompted me to write this one. We are close to the end of the year which is a time for reflection for most of us, and in looking back, there may be some aspects of your life that you wish to work on so that you can move forward to 2008 with your sights set clearly on your goals and what you really want to achieve.

Here’s a short summary of that post:

  • The only person that suffers from NOT forgiving the wrong-doer or forgiving yourself, is YOU.
  • The practice of forgiveness is a simple process which can be done on a daily basis (as long as you are willing to let go of the thing that holds you back.)
  • Forgiveness is an integral part of your Personal Development as without it, you cannot learn and move on with mastering your Emotional Intelligence.

Forgive and Forget

An interesting thought that came up in the responses from my friend George, is that as a child, he always heard the saying as it goes…

Forgive, but don’t Forget. It has it’s sense. Sometimes forgive AND forget is also a good idea as you clear out lot’s of stuff.

However, I feel that sometimes NOT forgetting in certain cases is a wise decision just so you don’t get caught a second or even a tenth time by the same story. Sort of like headlights that help you avoid big rocks in the road.

This is interesting because more often than not, we make up our own story about how someone treated us. Something I learned at the Landmark Forum is that we tend to, as humans do, drag the past around with us. Just imagine carrying around a suitcase everywhere we went.

We project the past into the future and live into it rather than letting it go and living in the NOW. Imagine if you didn’t have to carry around that suitcase everywhere you went.Imagine being free from the past, the one that is gone, the thing that holds you back from moving forward and living in the NOW. I challenge you to throw it away. Get rid of it so that it doesn’t weigh heavily on you. What are you left with when you do that. A blank canvas to write whatever future you wish to have… that’s what it leaves you with. Forgiveness is not easy and with a little practice everyday, it will make a difference in your life.

I take George’s comment this way. By practicing forgiveness, it will certainly make you a stronger person. By not forgetting and using it as a warning to not get caught up again in that kind of a circumstance, it is useful. It reminds us NOT TO GO THERE AGAIN.

So to forgive and forget can give us freedom to go on and live a happy and fulfilling life. Create your day with your intentions clearly embedded in your mind before you even get out of bed. Practice forgiveness a little each day… the process gets easier the more you do and remember that attitude of gratitude leads to a life of abundance.

Dedicated to Success.


16 comments to “Emotional Intelligence And Personal Development”

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  1. Great article Ange and if humanity is going to survive then we’ve gotta let go of things that have been and gone, forgiving is soooo key!

    EQ rules this century – not IQ and it is all down to each and every one of us – if we choose to be victims then that’s our choice, me, myself and I are the only 3 we can blame.

    We’re on higher vibrations and must remember your headlights analogy if we’ve any chance of smelling the flowers and avoid the rocks!!

    Creating your own day – have you seen ‘ what the bleep do we know?’ Yet – awesome!!

    GO! Smell the flowers’s last blog post..Free festive flowers – We have a winner!

  2. What the Bleep!! Do we know? That is the question… and yes, I have a copy at home which in fact has over 15 hours footage. Very powerful stuff!!

    Thanks again Jim en Em for dropping by. You’re awesome too πŸ™‚

  3. Great post. This is something that I had to deal with earlier this week. I am learning, as you said, that in order to live in the now, we must let go of past events. Thanks for the reminder.

  4. Thanks Quoteguy! As long as we are always learning, that’s the most important part of all this. When we recognize the lesson, then we will be able to move forward with life and appreciate what life has to offer.

  5. Great post Ange…

    Forgive and Forget – sometimes I wonder if we can truly forgive unless we do forget, then again, maybe in some cases forgetting may simply mean not remembering the pain!

    I remember a few years back, a friend and I had a falling out and lost contact. It took the death of a mutual friend to put it all in perspective again. The reconciliation began at the funeral 11 years ago – today we are as close as we’ve ever been!

    Life is too short to be bound by grudges and unforgiveness!


    Allan Cockerill’s last blog post..Please Stop Spamming My Facebook Wall

  6. Allan, I am happy to hear that you and your friend made amends and that your friendship continues better than ever. It did take something for the two of you to reconcile and by the sounds of things, the friendship is stronger than before.

    Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

  7. Thanks again Ange. Forgiving isn’t easy for most but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. It’s amazing what you can overcome once you decide to.

    Like you just said, sometimes it makes bonds stronger. Getting through rough times tends to do that. There’s some things I can now laugh about with my husband that I never thought possible not too long ago.

    Sandra’s last blog post..Report Links Wal-Mart to Illegal Logging

  8. Sandra… it’s great to hear that you can laugh about things with your husband that were not possible once upon a time! Absolutely awesome stuff πŸ™‚

  9. Hi! Great words of wisdom. Now. I find it intriguing that the words “I forgive you” or “Please forgive me” may take a life time to say but only seconds to say. But there is more to this than meets the eye.
    The first is at times extremely hard to say taking into account the form of the person and how many times they have asked for forgiveness.

    However, to say the words “Please forgive me” are easily said. It is only through long lasting positive actions can one really accept them back into the fold. Thank You for sharing this – regards Peter

    Peter McCartney’s last blog post..I Am Me

  10. Peter… taking a life time to say those words is a very long time to hold onto something. It really is of no benefit having it churn away inside and keep eating at you. I know exactly what you are talking about though. I have been guilty of this in the past and letting it go has been a big turnaround in my life. I haven’t the time to sit and worry about things that cannot be changed. Moving forward is what I have to look forward to and getting on with life and all it has to offer πŸ™‚

  11. Hi Ange, great posts! I agree with the forgive and forget concept and the leaving of emotional baggage behind. This is something that, thank God, Bridget has no problem doing.

    But. They say that, things that hurt teach.. in love especially. So when you hold back in future, it is not because of lack of forgiveness or projecting the past in the future, it is more through a fear of getting hurt again if you are vulnerable again..

    Bridget Jones’s last blog post..I don’t know how to call this post. One of the guys?

  12. Look out everyone… a celeb has arrived!!

    Welcome Bridget Jones from Dubai πŸ™‚

    I understand where you are coming from in terms of hurt that teaches… it means we have an opportunity to learn from the past. If we move on from that lesson, then great!

    I think what I am getting from what you say about holding back in the future, is not about forgiving, but instead, it relates to protecting oneself from the events happening again… there is no-one to forgive unless you let the situation arise again. Therefore, you have learned from the past. Did I get it right?

  13. Thanks for the warm welcome Angie πŸ™‚ Hope you had a great Xmas!

    You have got it right for the most part, and definitely so in your comment on my blog. And I suspect this Bridget will be chickening out ..

    If I don’t get a chance to visit you again, Happy New Year from Dubai’s Own Bridget Jones, mwah!

    Bridget Jones’s last blog post..Voyage au centre de mes craintes…