Personal Development

Do You Think Too Much

Does this sound like yours truly? You lie awake at night stressing about not-very-meaningful conversations you have had during the day and formulating the witty comebacks you should have said? OR maybe you constantly worry that you have made the wrong career choices? AND perhaps you’re even haunted by negative thoughts about your body, health and relationships?

Over-thinking is an epidemic which affects every aspect of our lives. It involves the persistent rehashing of your past, present and future without moving onto problem solving. It’s partly the result of a cultural shift towards self analysis. But many people, women especially, have taken self-awareness too far.

We’re also a generation that has a growing sense of entitlement – we expect to have have lots of money, a job we love, consistently fulfilling relationships, and to feel good most of the time. When this doesn’t happen, we don’t accept it as part of normal life. Instead, we spend inordinate amounts of time and energy thinking about WHY we’re not satisfied.

The Art of Fulfillment

Thoughts are things – A blogging friend of mine, Adam, recently asked me to write a guest post on his blog The 30 Day Man where I talked about this, and it seems that we still can’t escape those negative ones. The ones that make us feel bad. The ones that go over and over in our heads that we can’t move ahead on. The Law of Attraction states that whatever we think about, comes about, even if it is negative.

Consistently troubling yourself with the past keeps it in the present and of course the future. My friend Jamie McIntyre – you remember, the guy I met at a seminar – taught me about the six Basic Human Needs (which I will discuss in more detail in future posts) and The Art of Fulfillment.

We often try to come up with logical solutions based on emotional decisions and generally, we are not logical human beings.

Here is a list of the basic human needs:

  1. Certainty – this is a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, or self satisfaction with an existing situation.
  2. Uncertainty – this brings about doubt.
  3. Significance – what is important in your life, ie. career, relationships, family.
  4. Connection and Love -the need for human connectivity.
  5. Growth – if we are not growing, we are dying.
  6. Contribution – (is critical) for everybody.

Getting into a state of certainty is something that all of us can do. Think to a moment when you were never more certain of a situation and the feeling it gave you. It could have been when you bought a house at auction, or when your trading brought you profits. It could have been when you had that first kiss with your soulmate. Did you extend your arm and punch a hole in the air, or perhaps you clapped your hands and said “YES” out loud. Did you slap your thigh, even? Well, maybe not while you were still kissing your soulmate of course but afterwards when you were alone.

Being in a state of certainty can be brought about by re-living those feelings. So whenever you have those feelings of doubt rise up in you, put yourself in that state of certainty and know that you can think those positive thoughts, thereby attracting the things into your life that you DO want like lots of money, a job that you love, fulfilling relationships and feeling good most of the time. So don’t waste your thinking time on what should have been (don’t worry, I am guilty here also), instead, try it right now. Get into that state and may all good things come to you always.

May You Be Blessed

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6 comments to “Do You Think Too Much”

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  1. I read this article two or three times and each time I sem to find some new insight in it. Thanks for the great post.
    I’m not sure that ‘uncertainty’ is a human need but I guess you put it in to show it as the opposite if certainty. You are making a value judgment when you say that contribution is critical for everybody. Not to worry, I share the same value and feel the same but in reality contribution is not critical for everybody, just for people like you and me who have it as a core value.

  2. Welcome Douglas 🙂 Thanks for the tip!! At times, I do get carried away with a sense of urgency in my writing and go off in my own realm.

    Contribution can be however small or big you want it to be. Whether it is even a smile to a stranger or giving to charities… contribution can be shown in many forms. The idea that perhaps in some small way, making a difference by your actions can be a change for the better in our society, that is all I am really suggesting.

    Come back again and keep me on track as I am always open to learning.