Personal Development

I am an Adrenalin Junkie

This last ten or so days, I have been reduced down to dial-up speed when I was shaped for over-using my bandwidth and I can tell you that I am really struggling having to wait for pages to download. I have learned that if you use a Firefox browser, there is an option in tools that allows you to choose whether or not to download images while you are browsing, and it has become very boring indeed! It’s not much fun browsing when you can’t see the whole page as it was meant to be seen.

Being in this situation has brought me to realize that I am an adrenalin junkie, not just with the internet, but in all aspects of my life. I thought I was a patient person and as it turns out, I have had time to reflect and take notice of my habits online and off line. Scary stuff! I am living in a permanent state of overload and I am wondering how many of you reading this may have the same thing going on as I do.

I seem to be always seeking time for myself and yet, there are times when I feel guilty about not spending enough time with the kids. They often watch me sit and work when I really should be giving more of my time to them while they are around. I constantly feel that it is my job to keep everyone around me happy, which has led me to write about it here. Another step in developing my emotional intelligence.

The Seduction of Overload

Being addicted to adrenalin, is like any addiction. It is all consuming, very thrilling and it feels so right. There is absolutely no need for other narcotics life has to offer when you’re running on pure self-generated adrenalin. I think that being overloaded is permission to say I am too busy to take on anything new. Although, I just cannot help myself. I like to say YES to everything. It makes me feel needed, wanted and in demand! It is like having a badge of honour to have a jam-packed calendar, to juggle work and children, to be exhausted which then leads to feelings of guilt of letting down my friends and family. Funny thing is though that they do not feel this guilt of being unproductive.

My addiction does lend to having highs and lows. Frantic cramming of appointments and activities have led me to forget where I had to be… even though they were written in my diary. Sometimes, I feel as though I have been hit over the head with a sledgehammer. I run on auto-pilot with feelings of intoxication and exhilaration, kind of like an emotional roller-coaster. Enough is enough I say. This cannot be sustained. Sooner or later something has to give. I am tired of breaking deadlines and dates. I am tired of letting my friends and family down. Time to make a change.

This is the first step to overload recovery. Recognition that I have an addiction and now declaring that I will do something about it. Nothing will change without this moment of personal clarity. I can’t go on like this. Time to interrupt the pattern, which my ISP has had a hand in with slowing my connection down.

A calmer, less adrenalin fueled life is way overdue. To surrender my dependence to adrenalin will not be easy… after all, it is the chemical of danger, and who doesn’t like a bit of danger in their lives? Baby steps are necessary to overcome this addiction in order for me to find balance in my life. Helping my personal development along, I find that reading the healthy living lounge has also been helpful in coming to realise my plight. Any other suggestions you might have are welcomed here.  It will be great to hear them.

Dedicated to Success – mine and yours 🙂

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11 comments to “I am an Adrenalin Junkie”

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  1. Ange,

    I see a little light globe has switched on above your head. 😉
    The danger signs have been there for a long time Ange.

    The warning bells started to ring when I noticed repeated quotes such as “sleep is over-rated”. These silly catch phrases are just that, ….silly catch phrases full of marketing hype.

    I don’t really believe you’ll change Ange, but I hope you can for kids sake.

    I wish you the best with your new self.

    Warmest regards, Jim.

  2. Hey Jim,

    It’s really great to hear from you here!! I have missed our messages back and forth on SU.

    Yes – the light bulb has switched on. Maybe there are times when sleep is over-rated although I don’t think of it as “marketing hype.”

    I think that there are some changes to be made in organizsation skills and I am committed to making those changes… so I will make a point of keeping you in the loop if you like.

    I appreciate you taking the time to stop by Jim 🙂 You will be hearing from me again.

  3. Too funny, I was just telling my hubby about your blog and saying, OMG she uses the same phrases as I do “sleep is over rated” I guess I’m an adrenalin junky too. I don’t think I’m as bad as you hence the question I asked you about when you find all that time to reply to everyone with your popularity. Dial-up should be a crime.

    Tondy’s last blog post..Hater, start your engine!

  4. Thanks Tondy, it’s good to see you again. I guess we can sleep when we are dead then. This is a very busy time of year for many people getting ready to celebrate the festivities with loved ones… I’m not too sure how much blogging will get done and I still have a few more days at this slow speed so brightening up the house will be my focus.

    I will take this as a sign to slow down my internet activities so for everyone reading this, I will follow up with my emails and messages etc.. when I am back on track.

    Glad you enjoyed the post 🙂

  5. Hi Ange. I admit that it is hard to be an adrenalin junkie. As they say, when it rains, it pours. We reap what we sow.

    In my case, I tried creating opportunities where I can collaborate with my kids. Although I had to discipline myself by trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle before they start thinking that it is just normal to be in front of the computer most of the time and do business.

    Janette Toral’s last blog post..Christmas in Australia

  6. What a great compromise to collaborate with your kids. Mine, however, are still a bit little for collaborating with… my 4 yr old has no sense of time yet and needs to get her game finished, or her painting finished… needless to say, it takes something to get out the door in the morning. I will remember this for when they are older… perhaps they can assist me then if they are interested enough. Great input Janette 🙂

  7. Hey Ange,

    It is so easy to get caught up in the adrenalin ‘habit’.

    The problem that I have with lack of sleep is that I tend to drink more coffee to keep going, which means that it takes longer to slow down and rest, and I end up in a vicious cycle.

    I’ve decided to do do something about it, but first need to deal with my other bad habit – procrastination!

    I was going to start on it today, but was too busy, so it will have to wait until maybe Wednesday or Thursday…. 😉

    Have a great day!

    Allan Cockerill’s last blog post..Social Networking With Other Bloggers

  8. LOL… Allan, you are funny 😉

    Procrastination is the opposite of decision and I made a decision to write down my vision for this blog and my other business ventures that I have going. It’s time to get real and stop procrastinating. I know how easy it is to fall into the procrastination trap. Everyone has been there at one time or another.

    Thanks for stopping by and having a voice here to all of you. I get ideas from everyone that comments on my posts and it is really appreciated 🙂

  9. Ange, Ive been reading your blog for awhile now but this is the first time I’m commenting. I’m sure if you want to let go of this addiction, you can. Force yourself to sleep for 30 more minutes every day. Have a leisurely meal. Slow your life down for a week. Let us know how you feel

    ———————————————–
    My Positivity Blog http://positivityhub.com/

  10. Dearest Seeker… thank you for coming out. It must have really resonated with you… the fact that this is the first time you have commented since you have been reading these pages. I seem to have attracted a couple of new commentators in writing this post.

    Actually, my life has slowed down this past week and it will show in the following post. There have been events at my daughters school and catching up with friends because of the time of year so less time spent here online.

    Thanks again 🙂

  11. Its the same with me. I have been reduced to very low speeds several times like that and I’ve dreaded the internet during those times but still couldn’t stay without it. and with regard to that patience factor, I get scolded almost every day for being impatient