First, let’s establish what Happiness is. When I searched wikipedia for Happiness, this is what it returned. “Happiness is an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy.” There sure are a lot of words in there.

So how do we know the difference from feeling contentment, satisfaction, bliss and intense joy?

We all have our own perception of what happiness means to us. Our emotions are our own so for instance, if you were fired from your job today, it’s reasonable to think that you would not be experiencing the emotion of intense joy unless you perceived being fired as an opportunity to go forth and try something new.

According to a scientific study by Leicester University in England, the happiest country in the world is Denmark. And that’s despite having one of the highest tax rates in the world! They are paid to study. Imagine not having school fees for University! Apparently, the students can take as long as they like to complete their studies.

They are also paid to stay home in the form of paternal and maternal leave and this is paid by the government! That’s full time wages for 6 months if required.

If that’s what makes someone happy then why not!

Some of the things I think can cause a person to find happiness are:

• some good friends who stick by you no matter what
• a loving family who you enjoy being around
• the freedom to choose when and where you work
• the freedom to take a break anytime you like for holidays
• the freedom to live where in the world you want to
• your dream home
• positive emotions
• positive activities
• quality of life
• satisfaction in all things that you do
• eating a delicious meal
• playing with your children
• hearing children’s laughter
• listening to music that inspires you
• dancing like no-one is watching
• watching a funny movie
• reading a good book
• living in a state of gratitude

Every effect in your life has to start with a cause and for each of us it will be different. Making choices is what leads us to creating whether or not we find Happiness. Choosing what is right for you is key!

Too Many Choices

A couple of days ago I watched another TED video by Barry Schwartz which I found via Blonde2.0 Blog and thought about it for a while… then realised what he was talking about. Watch this!

Interesting… isn’t it? I’ll let you make up your own mind.

So what are your thoughts? Is it because we have too much choice nowadays that makes us un-happy or does it bring you happiness knowing that there are all these choices? Do you feel satisfied, contentment, bliss or intense joy having such a range of options available? Is it a state of mind perhaps!

Here are some other articles and sites on Happiness you may also like to read…

1. The Only Guide To Happiness You’ll Ever Need
2. The Happiness Project
3. The Seven Habits Of Highly Happy People

A short time ago I wrote that I Love You and it attracted some attention. I was sent this image by a friend and thought to use it here. How many times have you done something embarrassing or hurtful without intention to the one you LOVE? Now I’m sure this little fellow didn’t mean it however, things do go wrong sometimes in a relationship and it’s not that easy to get back in the good books of your beloved without having to sacrifice something unless you have a very understanding and committed partnership.

Being in a relationship or partnership brings quite a responsibility if you want it to work. Teamwork is the key. A relationship is a two sided affair so two people need to learn how to communicate with one another in an empowering way.

Relationships Require Commitment

The statistics of marriages breaking down and children growing up with only one biological parent in the home are forever increasing. Now, I am not saying that couples need to stay together for their children’s sake, and if husband and wife are not getting along and have outgrown each other, then it is better for them and their children for the couple to go their separate ways and in my opinion, after sourcing all avenues for help. What I would like to hear about is an increase in responsibilities and making sure that the children are adequately cared for, taught emotional intelligence, and to respect others when this does happen.

I am bringing this subject up because I went to dinner with some of the mothers from my daughters class last week and one of them was finishing off her teaching rounds at a particular school where the majority of children are being raised in a one biological parent home. A great number of these children learn independence at a very young age… as young as nine years old… perhaps even younger in some instances. They get themselves to school and back again as parents have to work to support the family. At my daughters school, most of the kids are dropped off by a parent, usually the mum as they are not at work.

The mother doing the teaching rounds went on to tell us of one child who had slapped a teacher across the face with an open hand and had been expelled from the school and this child hadn’t even turned 10 yet. This was only one incident among many others which she recounted to us that night and I can tell you that the stories weren’t pretty ones. Having said all that, these children will “grow up” faster than children who are lead by the hand in everything they do. Am I being harsh here? I like to teach my children independence and at the same time, respect for others.

It made me wonder and I cannot make any judgments as I do not know the child or her background. I can only surmise that this child is very unhappy and angry to perform such an action. It really made me sad to think that only 10 kilometres down the road their are children crying out for help and there is no-one available to guide and teach them. An I Love You wouldn’t go astray for this child and others like her. It would make a huge impact on her life in a positive way.

Am I making too many assumptions here because at our local school, their are many parents who get involved with their children’s schooling from dropping them off to reading with the children, to volunteering to help out in the classroom for literacy and numeracy lessons and then picking them up again? And don’t get me wrong, my daughters school is not perfect, but it does have a good reputation for being proactive with their curriculum and community. It is family orientated.

Your Thoughts

I would like your opinion please. Do you think it is easy nowadays for couples to separate without giving their relationship the work and commitment it requires to stay alive and strong? Do you spend time nurturing your children and at the same time, also teach them independence? I know there are great variances between children, but as a guide from some of the parents out there who have already been there so to speak… in your valued opinion, what have you tried that has worked with your kids and/or your relationship?

Dedicated to Success

Hello to all ( : Ange left her laptop open so I decided to sneak a post in before she noticed.

My name’s Michaela. I am Ange’s niece, 14 years young. There’s really not much to write, mainly because I don’t really know what my auntie does on here. But I’m going to say this, Ange is the craziest aunt I have. Meaning crazy in a good way. She loves her family and friends and cares deeply about what’s going on around her. For that, I love and admirer her.

I don’t find her on the adventurous scale, and I somehow don’t think The Kakoda Trail was such a good choice of adventure for her, but I know she’ll survive it ( : I think one of the most caring things she has done in the past is ‘FREE HUGS DAY MELBOURNE’.

She has a strong mind and always has her own opinion. If you dislike well trust me, you’re missing out.

I think I’m done on here. Thanks for reading about my auntie Ange ( : Much love to all, especially the one this is about.

xxx

Have you ever felt like you were the only person in the whole universe with a challenge? You may have noticed that I have been absent from Buzzing with Ange a bit lately. To tell you the truth, I lost my creativity and didn’t want to bring you half-baked articles just to keep updating. Instead, I have been meandering along another path away from my laptop and that is the one of further study for my NLP (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming) Master Practitioner along with training for the Kokoda Trek!

Aside from that, we, that is my family, have recently found out that my dad needs to have open heart surgery and as I type this, he has been hospitalised due to a series of recurring minor heart attacks and we are waiting to hear when he will be able to have the procedure done. Needless to say, it has put us all on standby wondering what the outcome will be.

Through all this, I have learned something about myself and that is that I am not the super emotionally strong person I thought I was. Does this mean that I have failed? No, not at all! In fact, what is has done is made me aware of the vulnerabilities that we as humans all have and that is that when someone close to us that we love faces a life threatening challenge, we start asking the questions why. After all, my dad is a very fit man and at the age of 78, he walks 60 kms per week!

The thing is to not ask why, but rather, how do we adapt to make this experience go as smoothly as possible while maintaining a positive outlook so as to keep my dad’s spirits up and help him as best we can through this challenge?


This Is How We Grow

While being empathic to his reality, I think the best thing I can do is spend time with him and ask questions so that I can learn as much as I can about him… I’m sure there are many things that I do not know about my dad and at the same time, tell him how I feel about him. Use the time to really bond and I think I am sounding like this is the end for him, and I’m sure it isn’t, but what an opportunity to get even closer than I was before! My point is that sometimes we leave things unsaid and then have regrets that we shoulda coulda woulda done this that and the other. I have heard it too many times before and I would rather not be left in that situation so speak now before it is too late.

This way of thinking can apply to anyone in our lives who we may be needing to discuss things with. What I mean is to not let emotions hold you back from speaking up about something or clearing the air if need be. I’m thinking in particular about forgiveness and emotional intelligence which goes a long way towards your personal development. Being consciously aware of our reactions to particular people or circumstances and coming to an agreement with ourselves or others, helps us keep things in perspective and not make up stories about it… after all, your reality will differ from the next person’s reality. We all have a different view of life and whatever your beliefs, it is the right one for you. Remember though that holding onto negative thoughts you have without either writing them down or talking about them with someone, will only make you the victim so please, if you have something to say then say it.

I know I am not the first person to be faced with this situation and I won’t be the last. So, I am not looking for sympathy here, rather, I would like to ask what are some of the things you may have tried in a similar situation which worked for you and your family to get you through a time like this?

In my last post I talked about being an adrenalin junkie which made me stop and think about what I was actually saying. Through attending many personal development seminars and training with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), I have learned that whatever you say you are, you are. This is not something new to me, and there are times when I do use the wrong language. I should know better you would think… well, I am human after all

Since then, I have had a paradigm shift. I had a dream last night that I was bird hopping along the ground not being able to make out the tops of trees, but instead, all I could see was the grass stalks and some twigs and leaves. When I flew up into the sky I could then make everything out. I could see the trees in relation to the ground and the grass. I could even make out a valley and a body of water. Things seemed much clearer from up above. I noticed that the higher I flew, the more of the landscape I could see. Even the approaching clouds threatening a change in the weather.

Why am I telling you this. I am telling you this because from a distance, I could see the whole picture and not just what was down on the ground level. There are times when all you can see is what’s right in front of you. All the menial tasks that must be done on a daily basis. These tasks are just as important as the big ones. I have read that the art of successful living calls on the ability to pull back and see the big picture… take time out to re-focus.

There are some spiritual disciplines that favor retreats to be able to reconnect with your Higher Self or Spirit, whichever you would like to call it. This is also another form of nurturing your emotional intelligence. If you can take the time off and make it to such a retreat, fantastic! If you are limited with your time because maybe you work on your own or you have family commitments that you cannot pull away from at the drop of a hat, there are other ways of re-connecting and grounding yourself.

Here is a list that may give you some ideas:

1. Take one day off and make it a vision quest where you carry one question in your mind - What do I do next? Let it simmer while you walk, meditate, swim or just stare into space!
2. Take one hour to sit in amongst nature - be it a park, the beach, or even your backyard - and just shut everything out. Don’t think about a thing.
3. Go and have a full body massage and DO NOT talk through the process. I say this because when I worked in the beauty industry and clients would come in for a massage, there were ones who tended to talk throughout the whole hour. Not very relaxing and they missed the point of having the massage… although, some would come just to vent their troubles.
4. Run yourself a nice, deep bubble bath and burn essential oils with candles around the bathroom. The citrus oils are uplifting while peppermint and rosemary are invigorating.

Pulling back and regaining your focus is a must to be able to function at your highest potential. If while you are working and you seem to be procrastinating, notice this and ask yourself this question: What can I do in the next 20 minutes that will take me in the direction I want to go. It could be writing a letter, making a phone-call, paying a bill, joining a gym or even enlisting the help of a coach. It will different for each of you depending on what your goals are. Think of it as writing an outline of a novel and not the whole book.

These are some guidelines to consider.

• Think big.
• Think small.
• Learn to go back and forth easily between your points of focus.
• If you dream too much, you may get lost in unproductive tasks.
• If you are run off your feet with details and other’s demands, you are in danger of losing focus on the big picture.

My goal is to follow and stick to these guidelines so that I may become someone whose bigger dreams drive and inspire others. Let me know how I am doing from time to time.

Change Your Thoughts and You Can Change the World

I would like to leave you with this video that shows how your thoughts can change your focus and in turn, change the world as you see it. Enjoy!