Today I am excited to introduce you to Steve Brennan aka @Travelpilot on Twitter. His story is one of family sacrifice for an ultimate outcome of lifestyle he now working on to give his children the best he can and more.

The Sacrifice

My two children have never had a normal lifestyle relationship with me.  Since before my daughter was born I have always had jobs that required me to work away from home.   I would commute back on my days off but this was usually only for a couple of days at a time and was never enough.  I always wished my family would move around with me however my partner thought it better to stay in the one location.  When leaving them to travel back to work was heartbreaking, the only conciliation being that the children thought it was normal and seemed not to be upset at all.

Why would I do this you may ask, why would I put myself through the pain of living without my family, missing out on their birthdays and watching them grow.  In hindsight I believe there were two main reasons, I wanted to earn the money to provide a better life for them and also because I was chasing my dream.  I had always wanted to fly and my ultimate goal was to be the Captain of a commercial airliner.

After many years of working different jobs, each time flying an aircraft that was a little bit bigger I finally achieved my goal, in May 2005 I became the Captain of a Boeing 767.  On top of this I was finally earning a decent income, enough to provide a good lifestyle for my family.

The Cost

The downside, two years later my partner and I separated.   Living separately on and off for almost thirteen years had taken the ultimate toll on our relationship.
The burning question I ask myself often is:

would it have been different if I had taken a normal job and lived at home like a normal Dad?  Would I still be with my family?

I didn’t want to be away from them but I also did not want them to be disadvantaged due to a lack of money either.

The Comeback

Since my separation I have been working very hard to build up a regular passive income, my new goal is to replace my income so that I can move back close to my children and still have the income to give them a great life.  This is something I wish I had thought of doing a long time ago.

Amongst many that I am currently working on, one of the income streams I have set up is through investing with a company that offers a diverse number of share market strategies.  This has worked so well for me that I decided to write about it in a blog.  I feel that if I can incite people to take responsibility for their own finances then they may achieve a better quality of life.  I am not saying that money is the answer to all problems and that it would have definitely saved my relationship, however what it would have done is given me choice.

I have achieved massive personal growth in these last two years and believe that by having this knowledge earlier, life would have been a lot different.

A short time ago I wrote that I Love You and it attracted some attention. I was sent this image by a friend and thought to use it here. How many times have you done something embarrassing or hurtful without intention to the one you LOVE? Now I’m sure this little fellow didn’t mean it however, things do go wrong sometimes in a relationship and it’s not that easy to get back in the good books of your beloved without having to sacrifice something unless you have a very understanding and committed partnership.

Being in a relationship or partnership brings quite a responsibility if you want it to work. Teamwork is the key. A relationship is a two sided affair so two people need to learn how to communicate with one another in an empowering way.

Relationships Require Commitment

The statistics of marriages breaking down and children growing up with only one biological parent in the home are forever increasing. Now, I am not saying that couples need to stay together for their children’s sake, and if husband and wife are not getting along and have outgrown each other, then it is better for them and their children for the couple to go their separate ways and in my opinion, after sourcing all avenues for help. What I would like to hear about is an increase in responsibilities and making sure that the children are adequately cared for, taught emotional intelligence, and to respect others when this does happen.

I am bringing this subject up because I went to dinner with some of the mothers from my daughters class last week and one of them was finishing off her teaching rounds at a particular school where the majority of children are being raised in a one biological parent home. A great number of these children learn independence at a very young age… as young as nine years old… perhaps even younger in some instances. They get themselves to school and back again as parents have to work to support the family. At my daughters school, most of the kids are dropped off by a parent, usually the mum as they are not at work.

The mother doing the teaching rounds went on to tell us of one child who had slapped a teacher across the face with an open hand and had been expelled from the school and this child hadn’t even turned 10 yet. This was only one incident among many others which she recounted to us that night and I can tell you that the stories weren’t pretty ones. Having said all that, these children will “grow up” faster than children who are lead by the hand in everything they do. Am I being harsh here? I like to teach my children independence and at the same time, respect for others.

It made me wonder and I cannot make any judgments as I do not know the child or her background. I can only surmise that this child is very unhappy and angry to perform such an action. It really made me sad to think that only 10 kilometres down the road their are children crying out for help and there is no-one available to guide and teach them. An I Love You wouldn’t go astray for this child and others like her. It would make a huge impact on her life in a positive way.

Am I making too many assumptions here because at our local school, their are many parents who get involved with their children’s schooling from dropping them off to reading with the children, to volunteering to help out in the classroom for literacy and numeracy lessons and then picking them up again? And don’t get me wrong, my daughters school is not perfect, but it does have a good reputation for being proactive with their curriculum and community. It is family orientated.

Your Thoughts

I would like your opinion please. Do you think it is easy nowadays for couples to separate without giving their relationship the work and commitment it requires to stay alive and strong? Do you spend time nurturing your children and at the same time, also teach them independence? I know there are great variances between children, but as a guide from some of the parents out there who have already been there so to speak… in your valued opinion, what have you tried that has worked with your kids and/or your relationship?

Dedicated to Success

Does this sound like yours truly? You lie awake at night stressing about not-very-meaningful conversations you have had during the day and formulating the witty comebacks you should have said? OR maybe you constantly worry that you have made the wrong career choices? AND perhaps you’re even haunted by negative thoughts about your body, health and relationships?

Over-thinking is an epidemic which affects every aspect of our lives. It involves the persistent rehashing of your past, present and future without moving onto problem solving. It’s partly the result of a cultural shift towards self analysis. But many people, women especially, have taken self-awareness too far.

We’re also a generation that has a growing sense of entitlement – we expect to have have lots of money, a job we love, consistently fulfilling relationships, and to feel good most of the time. When this doesn’t happen, we don’t accept it as part of normal life. Instead, we spend inordinate amounts of time and energy thinking about WHY we’re not satisfied.

The Art of Fulfillment

Thoughts are things – A blogging friend of mine, Adam, recently asked me to write a guest post on his blog The 30 Day Man where I talked about this, and it seems that we still can’t escape those negative ones. The ones that make us feel bad. The ones that go over and over in our heads that we can’t move ahead on. The Law of Attraction states that whatever we think about, comes about, even if it is negative.

Consistently troubling yourself with the past keeps it in the present and of course the future. My friend Jamie McIntyre – you remember, the guy I met at a seminar – taught me about the six Basic Human Needs (which I will discuss in more detail in future posts) and The Art of Fulfillment.

We often try to come up with logical solutions based on emotional decisions and generally, we are not logical human beings.

Here is a list of the basic human needs:

1. Certainty – this is a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, or self satisfaction with an existing situation.
2. Uncertainty – this brings about doubt.
3. Significance – what is important in your life, ie. career, relationships, family.
4. Connection and Love -the need for human connectivity.
5. Growth – if we are not growing, we are dying.
6. Contribution – (is critical) for everybody.

Getting into a state of certainty is something that all of us can do. Think to a moment when you were never more certain of a situation and the feeling it gave you. It could have been when you bought a house at auction, or when your trading brought you profits. It could have been when you had that first kiss with your soulmate. Did you extend your arm and punch a hole in the air, or perhaps you clapped your hands and said “YES” out loud. Did you slap your thigh, even? Well, maybe not while you were still kissing your soulmate of course but afterwards when you were alone.

Being in a state of certainty can be brought about by re-living those feelings. So whenever you have those feelings of doubt rise up in you, put yourself in that state of certainty and know that you can think those positive thoughts, thereby attracting the things into your life that you DO want like lots of money, a job that you love, fulfilling relationships and feeling good most of the time. So don’t waste your thinking time on what should have been (don’t worry, I am guilty here also), instead, try it right now. Get into that state and may all good things come to you always.

May You Be Blessed