First, let’s establish what Happiness is. When I searched wikipedia for Happiness, this is what it returned. “Happiness is an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy.” There sure are a lot of words in there.

So how do we know the difference from feeling contentment, satisfaction, bliss and intense joy?

We all have our own perception of what happiness means to us. Our emotions are our own so for instance, if you were fired from your job today, it’s reasonable to think that you would not be experiencing the emotion of intense joy unless you perceived being fired as an opportunity to go forth and try something new.

According to a scientific study by Leicester University in England, the happiest country in the world is Denmark. And that’s despite having one of the highest tax rates in the world! They are paid to study. Imagine not having school fees for University! Apparently, the students can take as long as they like to complete their studies.

They are also paid to stay home in the form of paternal and maternal leave and this is paid by the government! That’s full time wages for 6 months if required.

If that’s what makes someone happy then why not!

Some of the things I think can cause a person to find happiness are:

• some good friends who stick by you no matter what
• a loving family who you enjoy being around
• the freedom to choose when and where you work
• the freedom to take a break anytime you like for holidays
• the freedom to live where in the world you want to
• your dream home
• positive emotions
• positive activities
• quality of life
• satisfaction in all things that you do
• eating a delicious meal
• playing with your children
• hearing children’s laughter
• listening to music that inspires you
• dancing like no-one is watching
• watching a funny movie
• reading a good book
• living in a state of gratitude

Every effect in your life has to start with a cause and for each of us it will be different. Making choices is what leads us to creating whether or not we find Happiness. Choosing what is right for you is key!

Too Many Choices

A couple of days ago I watched another TED video by Barry Schwartz which I found via Blonde2.0 Blog and thought about it for a while… then realised what he was talking about. Watch this!

Interesting… isn’t it? I’ll let you make up your own mind.

So what are your thoughts? Is it because we have too much choice nowadays that makes us un-happy or does it bring you happiness knowing that there are all these choices? Do you feel satisfied, contentment, bliss or intense joy having such a range of options available? Is it a state of mind perhaps!

Here are some other articles and sites on Happiness you may also like to read…

1. The Only Guide To Happiness You’ll Ever Need
2. The Happiness Project
3. The Seven Habits Of Highly Happy People

As a founder on the Go Smell the Flowers blog, I have been privileged to be able to hand out these lovely Flower Smeller badges. These are to be presented to bloggers and non bloggers who are smelling the flowers in their own way.

Smelling Flowers means different things to different people. It could be that you are 100% happy with your life and you wouldn’t change a thing. Or perhaps you are working with what you are most passionate about and sharing your knowledge with the online and offline community. It could be that you have had a major re-direct in your life, or writing a book, or already written one with the result ending in it being published. It could even be because you are running a household with a family, working a job, taking care of everyone and still find time to spend with your hobby or passion.

Well today I would like to present this badge to five people (who are bloggers in this instance), who I think will enjoy the Flowers blog and have all achieved milestones in their lives and are heading for more. The badge up at the top of this post takes you to the origin of this award and you are most welcome to come and enjoy Go Smell the Flowers which has a community not of just flowers, but thorns as well… you will see when you get there

So without further ado… and oh… btw… I will be doing this once a month so please leave me a comment to let me know of your blog as I will be seeking out new blogs for this award… this month however, I would like to share it with:

My Aussie mate Allan over at Coffee with Allan Cockerill who is always around to give me a hand if I need it. Allan is also the only male in a household of four teenage daughters and any man who can live under those circumstances deserves a flower smelling badge!

Pearl who writes her thoughts on Interesting Observations and is always a pleasure to read. Having recently lost her father suddenly, Pearl is slowly making her way back into the online community showing her strength of character and I look forward to reading her blog.

Michaela, my niece, who introduced herself here a few weeks ago writing a guest post and then went on to start up her own blog called Michaela, Plainly Me so of course, I would like to encourage her.

Cory over at Dental Plan and Dental Care Tips who gives great dental advice for your pearly whites and offers some great dental plans if you happen to be over in the USA so check out his blog… I found some very funny dentist visit videos there… a word of warning though, if you get queasy visiting the dentist, watch out!

Doc KC is a professional psychotherapist who recently came into the blogosphere and is sharing her vast knowledge with the online community.  She writes in depth articles that make you think and offers advice both publicly and privately and is very approachable so please stop by Doc KC’s Blog and welcome her.

Please enjoy all the above blogs who are all making a contribution in there own way and you are all welcome in the garden at GO! Smell the Flowers any time.

What do these three little words mean anyway? We use them often for a variety of different reasons. Sometimes we use these words with our kids when showing affection. I think you know what I mean if you are a parent and you embrace a child… it seems only natural to say I Love You at the same time as the embrace, or it does for me with my kids.

When we are in the heat of passion with a husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, or even someone we are in lust with, we can say these three little words… they seem to roll off the tongue quite easily under these circumstances don’t you think?

________I Love You____________I Love You__
_____I Love You Love_______I Love You I Love You
____I Love YouI Love Yo___I Love You Love You I Lov
___I Love You Love You Love You _______I Love I Love I
__I Love You I Love You I Love You I _________I Love You I
_I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love_______I Love You I
_I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You______I Love You
__I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Lo__I Love You
I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love
I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Lo
_I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You
__I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love
____I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I
_____I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love
______I Love You I Love You I Love You I
_______I Love You I Love You I Love I
________I Love You I Love You I Lo
________I Love You I Love You
__________I Love You I Love
__________I Love You I L
__________I Love You
_________I Love Y
_________I Love
________I Lo
_______I L

We say it to our folks and yet, for some reason, it doesn’t come all that easy to say to our siblings. Is this generalising? I’m not sure about you, but I only ever recall saying these words to my sister once and I have never told my brothers that I love them. Why is this?

I believe that unless some real bonding happens between siblings, the opportunity doesn’t arise all that often to say these words out loud, and it’s kind of an assumed understanding because unless you totally do not get along with your siblings, then the unspoken law suggests that we indeed love our siblings. But now, here is another thing.

I LOVE YOU can be used in more than one context! It has a different meaning when you are in love with someone than when you say it to a friend or relative. Those three little words certainly get around and are the most precious words you could hear. So today’s task is to be aware of how many times you say I LOVE YOU if at all and who you reference when saying it. I know I use it with my kids more than anyone else… maybe I need to pay more attention to my other half and let him know more often. Who is someone in your life that you could go up to right now and say these three little words too?

Over the last few weeks this site has had some strange happenings going on and I am putting it down to my lack of attention to it. You can liken it to a car for example. If you don’t put petrol in it, it won’t go!! To my loyal readers, for this I apologise in not bringing you material that keeps you informed and growing within yourself. With the upgrade and migration to a new server, I encountered some technical issues which are now resolved so all is up and running and now and I am back to writing for you.

Good vs Bad

I would like to bring your attention to something that struck me the other day. I watched a movie (shock, horror) which made me think about the good and the bad that is in the world today. Without the bad, there would be no good. What I mean to say is that every action has a complimentary reaction so when we hear of natural disasters or terrorist acts, we think these are bad things, but without them, we would not see the acts of kindness of the human race either. Follow me for a moment here.

In 2001, we all remember the planes crashing into the twin towers on 9/11. It didn’t hit me until one week later because at the time, I was with my firstborn in a sleep centre learning how to get her to sleep without too much interference from me. She happened to wake about 2am and that particular night, her cot was in the conference room where the night duty nurse had the TV on. I was half awake and the chaos of that day was unfolding right in front of my eyes on the tube. It didn’t really sink in until I was back home and my fogginess had cleared.

The events of that tragic day had everybody (or so it seems, as that is what the MEDIA portrayed to us) against terrorists and focusing on what they could and would do about them. Much later came the stories of acts of human kindness and because of this, there was a major shift in consciousness around the globe. People were helping others because it seemed the right thing to do. Now I am not discounting the thousands of people who lost their lives due to those attacks, and may they rest in peace, I am simply saying that if something as big as 9/11 didn’t happen, we may not have come as far as we have with a shift in consciousness.

I still don’t fully understand why it happened and I guess I never will because I cannot be those terrorists that made it so. What I can do though is be grateful that the human race can come together in times like these and give a helping hand.

Acts of Kindness

Now I have just described an event of mammoth proportions but it doesn’t take such an event for human kindness to shine through. Maybe you helped an elderly person cross the street, or maybe you cuddled a child who was hurt in an accident. It could be that you telephoned your wife/husband just to say “I love you” or even to take your mum shopping, or letting your niece write a post on your blog, lol! Whatever the case, I know each of you has this capability and if you wouldn’t mind sharing some thoughts on this, I am looking to write an ebook to be released when I get back from the Kokoda trek in which I will include a section about Acts of Kindness where I can feature what you share here.

PS. My niece who wrote the post prior to this has now set up her own blog at Michalea Is Me and I look forward to seeing what she does with it.

To Our Success

Have you ever had something happen to you that made you angry and because of this, you said hurtful words to a loved one without meaning too? I was visiting with some friends the other day and they were having a new oven delivered. Upon unwrapping the oven it was obvious that they had received the wrong one, so she got all in a tizz and said something awful to her husband on a totally different subject! I immediately noticed why this had happened and hinted that perhaps she was angry with the store that had delivered the wrong oven and not angry with her husband. She is a good friend so I can say these things to her.

The point I am making here is that when you are challenged and it makes you feel the emotion of anger, no matter who is there with you, and if nobody is, we do have a tendency to call someone just so we can vent our anger, we can easily slip up and say something that we may regret. Your anger can unintentionally hurt another so make it a habit to become aware of the language and the words you use when conversing with others… especially those we love.

In this case above, the husband dismissed what his wife had said but it could have easily turned into an outright misunderstanding causing a whole set of problems which wouldn’t have served either one of them. Have you been aware of this happening to you? I know that there have been times when something has upset me and without thinking, I have lashed out at the person closest to me. That was before I learned how to be aware of my thoughts and language.

Quick to think, slow to anger, and slow to speak

It takes practice to know why we say the things we do. It could be something as easy as stubbing your toe upon getting out of bed that sets your day in a direction of a downward spiral and without knowing, we snap and let the fact that we are not happy, make someone else not happy just so we don’t have to suffer alone! Does this make sense?

Think for a moment to the last time you were hurt or disappointed, how you re-acted and if you happened to use language that empowered or dis-empowered yourself or someone else! Remember how it felt and if you can, also, how was your physiology at the time? I say this because we do sit/stand differently when we are upset as opposed to when we are ecstatic! Our physiology then has a role to play in the language we use.

Okay, take time out and try this. Stand up and hang your head and hunch your shoulders over as though you are a victim of circumstance. Think back to a time when you felt anger. In this position, try smiling and having good thoughts. Can you? I mean, can you really think good thoughts if you have just been hurt or are angry?

Now try this. Stand up tall with eyes forward and a big smile on your face. How easy is it to say something positive? Totally different way of looking and feeling isn’t it? So how easy would it be now to become aware of your language that you use and how it affects others?

So, there is a marked difference as to how we speak depending on our physiology. If you can get over it sooner rather than later, you will be doing yourself and those around you a great favour. Don’t let your anger unintentionally hurt someone else. Be aware of how you are feeling and think about the words you will speak before opening your mouth. Life can be so much more pleasant when feeling love rather than anger.

If you enjoyed this article and it is your first time here, you may consider subscribing to my site so that you never miss an update. Let me know your thoughts and if/when you have noticed this kind of thing happening to you before now. How has it impacted your life?