First, let’s establish what Happiness is. When I searched wikipedia for Happiness, this is what it returned. “Happiness is an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy.” There sure are a lot of words in there.

So how do we know the difference from feeling contentment, satisfaction, bliss and intense joy?

We all have our own perception of what happiness means to us. Our emotions are our own so for instance, if you were fired from your job today, it’s reasonable to think that you would not be experiencing the emotion of intense joy unless you perceived being fired as an opportunity to go forth and try something new.

According to a scientific study by Leicester University in England, the happiest country in the world is Denmark. And that’s despite having one of the highest tax rates in the world! They are paid to study. Imagine not having school fees for University! Apparently, the students can take as long as they like to complete their studies.

They are also paid to stay home in the form of paternal and maternal leave and this is paid by the government! That’s full time wages for 6 months if required.

If that’s what makes someone happy then why not!

Some of the things I think can cause a person to find happiness are:

• some good friends who stick by you no matter what
• a loving family who you enjoy being around
• the freedom to choose when and where you work
• the freedom to take a break anytime you like for holidays
• the freedom to live where in the world you want to
• your dream home
• positive emotions
• positive activities
• quality of life
• satisfaction in all things that you do
• eating a delicious meal
• playing with your children
• hearing children’s laughter
• listening to music that inspires you
• dancing like no-one is watching
• watching a funny movie
• reading a good book
• living in a state of gratitude

Every effect in your life has to start with a cause and for each of us it will be different. Making choices is what leads us to creating whether or not we find Happiness. Choosing what is right for you is key!

Too Many Choices

A couple of days ago I watched another TED video by Barry Schwartz which I found via Blonde2.0 Blog and thought about it for a while… then realised what he was talking about. Watch this!

Interesting… isn’t it? I’ll let you make up your own mind.

So what are your thoughts? Is it because we have too much choice nowadays that makes us un-happy or does it bring you happiness knowing that there are all these choices? Do you feel satisfied, contentment, bliss or intense joy having such a range of options available? Is it a state of mind perhaps!

Here are some other articles and sites on Happiness you may also like to read…

1. The Only Guide To Happiness You’ll Ever Need
2. The Happiness Project
3. The Seven Habits Of Highly Happy People

As a founder on the Go Smell the Flowers blog, I have been privileged to be able to hand out these lovely Flower Smeller badges. These are to be presented to bloggers and non bloggers who are smelling the flowers in their own way.

Smelling Flowers means different things to different people. It could be that you are 100% happy with your life and you wouldn’t change a thing. Or perhaps you are working with what you are most passionate about and sharing your knowledge with the online and offline community. It could be that you have had a major re-direct in your life, or writing a book, or already written one with the result ending in it being published. It could even be because you are running a household with a family, working a job, taking care of everyone and still find time to spend with your hobby or passion.

Well today I would like to present this badge to five people (who are bloggers in this instance), who I think will enjoy the Flowers blog and have all achieved milestones in their lives and are heading for more. The badge up at the top of this post takes you to the origin of this award and you are most welcome to come and enjoy Go Smell the Flowers which has a community not of just flowers, but thorns as well… you will see when you get there

So without further ado… and oh… btw… I will be doing this once a month so please leave me a comment to let me know of your blog as I will be seeking out new blogs for this award… this month however, I would like to share it with:

My Aussie mate Allan over at Coffee with Allan Cockerill who is always around to give me a hand if I need it. Allan is also the only male in a household of four teenage daughters and any man who can live under those circumstances deserves a flower smelling badge!

Pearl who writes her thoughts on Interesting Observations and is always a pleasure to read. Having recently lost her father suddenly, Pearl is slowly making her way back into the online community showing her strength of character and I look forward to reading her blog.

Michaela, my niece, who introduced herself here a few weeks ago writing a guest post and then went on to start up her own blog called Michaela, Plainly Me so of course, I would like to encourage her.

Cory over at Dental Plan and Dental Care Tips who gives great dental advice for your pearly whites and offers some great dental plans if you happen to be over in the USA so check out his blog… I found some very funny dentist visit videos there… a word of warning though, if you get queasy visiting the dentist, watch out!

Doc KC is a professional psychotherapist who recently came into the blogosphere and is sharing her vast knowledge with the online community.  She writes in depth articles that make you think and offers advice both publicly and privately and is very approachable so please stop by Doc KC’s Blog and welcome her.

Please enjoy all the above blogs who are all making a contribution in there own way and you are all welcome in the garden at GO! Smell the Flowers any time.

]]> http://angesbiz.com/bloggers/smell-the-flowers-with-me/feed/ 6 http://angesbiz.com/forgiveness/i-love-you/ http://angesbiz.com/forgiveness/i-love-you/#comments Tue, 06 May 2008 14:17:49 +0000 Ange Recchia http://angesbiz.com/?p=140 What do these three little words mean anyway? We use them often for a variety of different reasons. Sometimes we use these words with our kids when showing affection. I think you know what I mean if you are a parent and you embrace a child… it seems only natural to say I Love You at the same time as the embrace, or it does for me with my kids.

When we are in the heat of passion with a husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, or even someone we are in lust with, we can say these three little words… they seem to roll off the tongue quite easily under these circumstances don’t you think?

________I Love You____________I Love You__
_____I Love You Love_______I Love You I Love You
____I Love YouI Love Yo___I Love You Love You I Lov
___I Love You Love You Love You _______I Love I Love I
__I Love You I Love You I Love You I _________I Love You I
_I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love_______I Love You I
_I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You______I Love You
__I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Lo__I Love You
I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love
I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Lo
_I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You
__I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love
____I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love You I
_____I Love You I Love You I Love You I Love
______I Love You I Love You I Love You I
_______I Love You I Love You I Love I
________I Love You I Love You I Lo
________I Love You I Love You
__________I Love You I Love
__________I Love You I L
__________I Love You
_________I Love Y
_________I Love
________I Lo
_______I L

We say it to our folks and yet, for some reason, it doesn’t come all that easy to say to our siblings. Is this generalising? I’m not sure about you, but I only ever recall saying these words to my sister once and I have never told my brothers that I love them. Why is this?

I believe that unless some real bonding happens between siblings, the opportunity doesn’t arise all that often to say these words out loud, and it’s kind of an assumed understanding because unless you totally do not get along with your siblings, then the unspoken law suggests that we indeed love our siblings. But now, here is another thing.

I LOVE YOU can be used in more than one context! It has a different meaning when you are in love with someone than when you say it to a friend or relative. Those three little words certainly get around and are the most precious words you could hear. So today’s task is to be aware of how many times you say I LOVE YOU if at all and who you reference when saying it. I know I use it with my kids more than anyone else… maybe I need to pay more attention to my other half and let him know more often. Who is someone in your life that you could go up to right now and say these three little words too?

Good vs Bad

I would like to bring your attention to something that struck me the other day. I watched a movie (shock, horror) which made me think about the good and the bad that is in the world today. Without the bad, there would be no good. What I mean to say is that every action has a complimentary reaction so when we hear of natural disasters or terrorist acts, we think these are bad things, but without them, we would not see the acts of kindness of the human race either. Follow me for a moment here.

In 2001, we all remember the planes crashing into the twin towers on 9/11. It didn’t hit me until one week later because at the time, I was with my firstborn in a sleep centre learning how to get her to sleep without too much interference from me. She happened to wake about 2am and that particular night, her cot was in the conference room where the night duty nurse had the TV on. I was half awake and the chaos of that day was unfolding right in front of my eyes on the tube. It didn’t really sink in until I was back home and my fogginess had cleared.

The events of that tragic day had everybody (or so it seems, as that is what the MEDIA portrayed to us) against terrorists and focusing on what they could and would do about them. Much later came the stories of acts of human kindness and because of this, there was a major shift in consciousness around the globe. People were helping others because it seemed the right thing to do. Now I am not discounting the thousands of people who lost their lives due to those attacks, and may they rest in peace, I am simply saying that if something as big as 9/11 didn’t happen, we may not have come as far as we have with a shift in consciousness.

I still don’t fully understand why it happened and I guess I never will because I cannot be those terrorists that made it so. What I can do though is be grateful that the human race can come together in times like these and give a helping hand.

Acts of Kindness

Now I have just described an event of mammoth proportions but it doesn’t take such an event for human kindness to shine through. Maybe you helped an elderly person cross the street, or maybe you cuddled a child who was hurt in an accident. It could be that you telephoned your wife/husband just to say “I love you” or even to take your mum shopping, or letting your niece write a post on your blog, lol! Whatever the case, I know each of you has this capability and if you wouldn’t mind sharing some thoughts on this, I am looking to write an ebook to be released when I get back from the Kokoda trek in which I will include a section about Acts of Kindness where I can feature what you share here.

To Our Success

Since then, I have had a paradigm shift. I had a dream last night that I was bird hopping along the ground not being able to make out the tops of trees, but instead, all I could see was the grass stalks and some twigs and leaves. When I flew up into the sky I could then make everything out. I could see the trees in relation to the ground and the grass. I could even make out a valley and a body of water. Things seemed much clearer from up above. I noticed that the higher I flew, the more of the landscape I could see. Even the approaching clouds threatening a change in the weather.

Why am I telling you this. I am telling you this because from a distance, I could see the whole picture and not just what was down on the ground level. There are times when all you can see is what’s right in front of you. All the menial tasks that must be done on a daily basis. These tasks are just as important as the big ones. I have read that the art of successful living calls on the ability to pull back and see the big picture… take time out to re-focus.

There are some spiritual disciplines that favor retreats to be able to reconnect with your Higher Self or Spirit, whichever you would like to call it. This is also another form of nurturing your emotional intelligence. If you can take the time off and make it to such a retreat, fantastic! If you are limited with your time because maybe you work on your own or you have family commitments that you cannot pull away from at the drop of a hat, there are other ways of re-connecting and grounding yourself.

Here is a list that may give you some ideas:

1. Take one day off and make it a vision quest where you carry one question in your mind – What do I do next? Let it simmer while you walk, meditate, swim or just stare into space!
2. Take one hour to sit in amongst nature – be it a park, the beach, or even your backyard – and just shut everything out. Don’t think about a thing.
3. Go and have a full body massage and DO NOT talk through the process. I say this because when I worked in the beauty industry and clients would come in for a massage, there were ones who tended to talk throughout the whole hour. Not very relaxing and they missed the point of having the massage… although, some would come just to vent their troubles.
4. Run yourself a nice, deep bubble bath and burn essential oils with candles around the bathroom. The citrus oils are uplifting while peppermint and rosemary are invigorating.

Pulling back and regaining your focus is a must to be able to function at your highest potential. If while you are working and you seem to be procrastinating, notice this and ask yourself this question: What can I do in the next 20 minutes that will take me in the direction I want to go. It could be writing a letter, making a phone-call, paying a bill, joining a gym or even enlisting the help of a coach. It will different for each of you depending on what your goals are. Think of it as writing an outline of a novel and not the whole book.

These are some guidelines to consider.

• Think big.
• Think small.
• Learn to go back and forth easily between your points of focus.
• If you dream too much, you may get lost in unproductive tasks.
• If you are run off your feet with details and other’s demands, you are in danger of losing focus on the big picture.

My goal is to follow and stick to these guidelines so that I may become someone whose bigger dreams drive and inspire others. Let me know how I am doing from time to time.

Change Your Thoughts and You Can Change the World

I would like to leave you with this video that shows how your thoughts can change your focus and in turn, change the world as you see it. Enjoy!

Over-thinking is an epidemic which affects every aspect of our lives. It involves the persistent rehashing of your past, present and future without moving onto problem solving. It’s partly the result of a cultural shift towards self analysis. But many people, women especially, have taken self-awareness too far.

We’re also a generation that has a growing sense of entitlement – we expect to have have lots of money, a job we love, consistently fulfilling relationships, and to feel good most of the time. When this doesn’t happen, we don’t accept it as part of normal life. Instead, we spend inordinate amounts of time and energy thinking about WHY we’re not satisfied.

The Art of Fulfillment

Thoughts are things – A blogging friend of mine, Adam, recently asked me to write a guest post on his blog The 30 Day Man where I talked about this, and it seems that we still can’t escape those negative ones. The ones that make us feel bad. The ones that go over and over in our heads that we can’t move ahead on. The Law of Attraction states that whatever we think about, comes about, even if it is negative.

Consistently troubling yourself with the past keeps it in the present and of course the future. My friend Jamie McIntyre – you remember, the guy I met at a seminar – taught me about the six Basic Human Needs (which I will discuss in more detail in future posts) and The Art of Fulfillment.

We often try to come up with logical solutions based on emotional decisions and generally, we are not logical human beings.

Here is a list of the basic human needs:

1. Certainty – this is a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, or self satisfaction with an existing situation.
2. Uncertainty – this brings about doubt.
3. Significance – what is important in your life, ie. career, relationships, family.
4. Connection and Love -the need for human connectivity.
5. Growth – if we are not growing, we are dying.
6. Contribution – (is critical) for everybody.

Getting into a state of certainty is something that all of us can do. Think to a moment when you were never more certain of a situation and the feeling it gave you. It could have been when you bought a house at auction, or when your trading brought you profits. It could have been when you had that first kiss with your soulmate. Did you extend your arm and punch a hole in the air, or perhaps you clapped your hands and said “YES” out loud. Did you slap your thigh, even? Well, maybe not while you were still kissing your soulmate of course but afterwards when you were alone.

Being in a state of certainty can be brought about by re-living those feelings. So whenever you have those feelings of doubt rise up in you, put yourself in that state of certainty and know that you can think those positive thoughts, thereby attracting the things into your life that you DO want like lots of money, a job that you love, fulfilling relationships and feeling good most of the time. So don’t waste your thinking time on what should have been (don’t worry, I am guilty here also), instead, try it right now. Get into that state and may all good things come to you always.

May You Be Blessed

Well let me give you some interesting statistics……….

1. 96% of the population will be dead or dead broke at age 65.
2. 3% will retire financially independent.
3. 1% will retire wealthy.

I am on the Gold Coast of Australia attending a 21st Century Academy wealth creation seminar. We have just had an incredible two days just for women. Women statistically make better investors than men as we do not get emotionally attached or let our ego’s in the way of our investing. So we are being taught simple strategies that we can take away and apply to get on with our journey to wealth creation.

Here are a few more statistics…………

1. 47% of women in their 50′s are single.
2. 50% of marriages end in divorce.
3. In the 1st year after divorce, a woman’s standard of living drops an average of 73%.
4. 7 outof 10 women will live in poverty at some time.

It’s amazing that we still believe in our education system. It was designed in the 19th century so is now out of date. What do we learn at school? Work hard, get good grades and then find a job and trade your time for money. The harder you study, the better the grades, the better your job.

Well I am on a mission to learn how to create wealth and become financially free. The first secret I learned is that it is 80% mindset and 20% work. So long as your head is in the right frame of mind, you will attract and create the wealth that you need and desire.

Just one more statistic for you…did you know that if all the wealth in the world right now was divided equally amongst every body, we would all be millionaires. So if you do not have your 3 million dollars you are being ripped off.

Who of you have heard of the “Baby Boomers?” These are people born after the second world war from around 1946 up until 1961 or there abouts. Generally speaking, this group of people are the ones who have started all the trends over the last 50-60 years.

Well in around six years time, a lot of those baby boomers will have reached retirement age. Once this happens, they will want to draw out their Superannuation Funds or 401K as it is called in America. This is money put away while you work to live off when you come out of the workforce.

Once this happens, it will have a profound effect on the way we live. For example, these funds are mostly invested in the stock market. As there will be a vast majority of retirees all at once, there will be a lot of funds drawn out of the stock market at one time. The repercussions of this will leave us with a devastating ripple effect.

The Dow Jones is a group of stocks on the US stock exchange that govern the way we live. If there is a decline in share prices, then unemployment will rise. Inflation will rise. Interest rates will go up. Do you get the drift? If we are not in a position to take care of ourselves no one else will.

This is why it is important to start taking action now so we can be prepared for when this happens. And when it does, it will not be short term. You need to have a substantial portfolio of investments to see you through for perhaps ten years as this is how long it will take to repair itself if we are lucky.

I needed to pass this information on as I want you to be prepared for it too. If you need a place to start then look up this link at Dynamic Wealth Education and you will have access to the same information as me. See for yourself how simple the strategies are and order the free DVD.

I will be here for the next four days in seminars so will impart to you some more of what I learn in that time.

To Your Success!

Ange